Traditional Chinese marriage

During the two millennia of the imperial history of China, it was customary to say that the three happiest moments of a life were the imperial, determining examination which could be part of the high spheres of the Empire, the marriage, and the Birth of a child. From the Qin dynasty (221 BC) 206 BC) to the Qing dynasty (1644 to 1911), the feudal system was rigorous. Throughout these two millennia, getting married was much more important than finding your soul mate. From the husband's point of view, marriage determined the prosperity and even the reputation of the family. The bride, on the other hand, often lost the bond that united her to her parents, who would hardly see her once married. This is why choose the ideal partner was vital, both for the spouses and for the future of the family. Rich marriage traditions have thus gone from generations to generations, evolving over time, some are still used today.

Chinese marriage in ancient China

In feudal society, marriage was not the idea of ​​a young couple of lovers, but that of their parents. Marriage could only be considered when the parents agreed on the terms and that everyone's desires corresponded. These conditions included discussions on money and the social status of families. If the man's family was rich or of high social status, his parents would not allow him under any pretext to marry a woman from a poor family. During these agreements, we recognize the famous "three letters and six labels".

Three letters and six labels

The first of the famous three letters, the request letter, was a letter from the girl's family, who announced an official marriage proposal to the young man's family. Then the second, the Present letter, or letter of gifts, accompanied the gifts offered by the groom's family. Finally, a third letter, the wedding letter, came the union on wedding day.

This ritual was accompanied by the six labels, namely stages of the procedure that led to marriage:

• The marriage proposal: When the parents of the man intended to prepare a meeting, they invited an upper time to apply for marriage to the girl's family. If the request was accepted, the Marker, who was generally a maricker, was thanked by numerous gifts and dishes of the grateful family. In many cases, the bride and groom could not see each other before the day of the ceremony.
• Birthday verification: The young man's family was then to know the whole name and date of the birthday of the girl, so as to ask a reader of good adventure if it announced a happy future for the future spouses, and if the two signs of zodiac corresponded.
• Engagement gifts: If good fortune was promising, the boy's family announced to the other family that the process continued by sending them gifts.
• Wedding gifts: The most important, but also more expensive step in marriage proposal is when the husband's family offers wedding gifts to the girl's family. The gifts are chosen carefully and are as sumptuous, expensive, and luxurious as allowed by the social status of the family.
• Wedding date selection: The wedding date was not chosen by families, and was not the result of chance. Rather, we asked the Disitor of Good Fortune which date would be the most promising for the future of the couple. The date was chosen according to astrology books.
• The wedding ceremony: The wedding ceremony began with the meeting of the two families, and the two engaged, in the young woman. Before marriage, the dowry of the groom's family was paid to the other family. The Dots, which corresponded to the social status of the woman's family, included gifts such as scissors representing two inseparable butterflies, a rule which symbolized the territory of the family, and vases representing peace and wealth, that the We wanted the couple.

Chinese traditional marriage ceremony

Before the ceremony, the custom wanted an old woman to knot the hair of the bride in a bun with colored cotton ties. The bride dressed a red dress, the custom wanted, and still wants, that red be a car's color color. Generally, when the groom and her family arrived, the young woman and her parents were crying to show their sadness to separate. Then, his oldest brother had to accompany him, sometimes even carry her, to the chair to bearers who brought him to the place of the ceremony, where the union was celebrated with music and fireworks. The fiancée then crossed a red carpet in a festive atmosphere. The future groom, also dressed in a red tunic, had to make three reverences: the first to thank the heavens, the second to thank the parents, and the last to thank the wife. Then, the young fiancées went directly to their nuptial room while the guests enjoyed a banquet. The tradition wanted us to serve the wine to the brim but that we do not overthrow it. In some regions, guests were encouraged, during the night of reception, to joke young newlyweds, so as to break the ice and facilitate the meeting. The third day following the wedding, the newlyweds had to go to the family of the young wife to share a dinner with guests. Discover a Traditional Chinese marriage.

Modern Chinese wedding

In modern China, deeply changed by the opening of the People's Republic of China, wedding procedures and ceremonies are very different from what they were in the past. Arranged marriages, although always existing, are less frequent, and social status is no longer at the center of weddings. Also, wedding ceremonies are no longer marked with religion, but many traditions still persist And are still used today. As early as 1980, an important reform allowed individuals to choose their partner. Today, according to the law, a man must be at least 22 years old to get married, and a 20 -year -old woman. Weddings arranged by parents are less systematic but still exist in China. Finally, for the time being, the law does not allow marriage between two people of the same sex, but since 1984, homosexuality is no longer considered a crime, although it is still strongly discriminated against.

Modern Chinese wedding ceremony

Modern Chinese wedding ceremonies are often devoid of religious meaning, and young lovers often exchange alliances to the town hall. Indeed, many couple opt for a civil marriage and therefore a secular ceremony.  Then, as in the West, the guests are invited to a reception during which a banquet will be held, all generally funded by the husband's family. Religious families sometimes opt for a religious ceremony, which will also end with an opulent banquet. In any case, the banquet and wedding reception are the most important moment of the ceremony. The guests sign a guest book and offer the young couple of red envelopes containing money that the young couple will have in front of those who offer them. What would be considered rude in the West is customary in China, and the newlyweds hold an account of the money offered by each guest. This will be useful to them, later, when the couple went to the ceremony of said guests. They will then have to offer them more than they received.

Chinese wedding banquet

The banquet is a sumptuous event that lasts at least two hours. After offering the red envelope to the couple, the guests are taken to the banquet. Some ceremonies have a table plan, others leave guests free to sit where they want. But almost all couples choose a master of ceremonies to animate the festivities. He announces the entry of the couple of newlyweds, who will mark the start of the banquet.

Then, one of the newlyweds, generally the man, officially welcomes his guests with a Welcome speech. The guests are then used for the first of their nine dishes. Throughout the ceremony, the couple comes and goes to the reception room, changing outfits several times. While guests taste their meals, young spouses are generally too busy changing and meet the needs of their guests. Generally, they only take the time to eat from the sixth dish. During the ceremony, it is customary to toast several times. The couple wears a first toast, often followed by the best groom's best friend. The couple then wanders between the tables toast individually with the guests. They then disappear while the dessert is served.

The dessert marks the end of the celebrations. After having tasted it, the guests form a tail to announce their congratulations and wishes of happiness one by one to the young couple and their families outside the place of reception. Everyone takes a photo with the couple, and the young wife sometimes offers them sweets. Some couples prefer to opt for a buffet although it is less frequent.

Traditional Chinese wedding dress

Far from Western customs, Chinese culture values ​​luck and good fortune a lot for its traditional wedding clothes. In general, dragons, phoenix, red and gold are elements that bring happiness, and are thus essential for Chinese wedding clothes.

Thus, the red is the main and most traditional color for Chinese wedding clothes. Red, a very expensive color to the Chinese, is supposed to bring happiness, sustainability and wealth. The belief even wants red to keep bad fate and evil spirits away. Far from western ceremonies where black and white dominate, the Traditional wedding dress also depends on the regions.

 In regions of northern China, we will generally prefer a Qipao dress (旗袍), also called Cheongsams. Qipao is a protruding dress, tight at the waist, which has a Mao pass most often straight. This dress, often split on the sides, is most often red and embroidered with golden and silver details. In the southern regions, on the other hand, the wives will prefer to wear a Longfeng Gua, a dress in two rooms. These dresses are very often decorated with a golden phoenix. Ultimate symbol of femininity, happiness and union, the Phoenix, called Fenghuang in Chinese, represents the Empress, and thus opposes the Dragon, symbol of the Emperor. There are also often five bats on the Longfeng Gua, representing five good news that will arrive at the couple.

In the most traditional weddings, the bride has a veil. This veil is a square of red silk, on which peonies or a phoenix are often embroidered. It is said that the veil would conjure the bad spell and allow the young woman to hide the fact that she blushes. Traditionally, she keeps the opaque veil, which covers her entirely to her shoulders, throughout the ceremony. The husband only removes it when all the guests left the ceremonial room.

The brides who have opted for a traditional marriage also sometimes carry a phoenix tiara (凤冠), which was considered a great honor in ancient marriages. These crowns have existed from the Ming dynasty. 

Dressed from feet to head, young women also carefully choose their wedding shoes. In the province of Fujian, in the south, it is customary to wear shoes embroidered with patterns of turtles or a deer, which symbolize the longevity of the union. In the province of Zhejiang, the young bride will wear shoes called Shang Jiao Xie, which are small red silk shoes. These shoes, often used to get in the carrier chair, must be made by the bride or his family.

However, nowadays, couples often opt for Western wedding outfits, and the young woman will wear a long white dress, while the young man will choose a black suit. Some of these couples still wear a traditional Chinese wedding outfit for wedding photos, or simply for the time of the ceremony or the banquet.

Chinese wedding decoration

Decoration of the Chinese wedding room

Red is a color that brings luck, good fortune, and happiness in Chinese culture. The Chinese wedding decoration is therefore essentially red, just like the bride's dress. We also find, in all Chinese weddings, the symbol of double happiness (囍), which reads " shuāngxǐ ». This symbol consists of twice the character "喜", which, in Mandarin, means happiness. This symbol of double happiness represents the happiness of union, love, and brings good fortune to the couple. In Chinese weddings, it is also customary to decorate the wedding hall of Dragons and Phoenix, which are, when they are together, are a symbol of the power of happy union.

Of the red lanterns are also hung in the room (discover their History and their meaning), and in particular outside, around the front door, to bring luck to what happens inside. These lanterns, generally made of paper, are decorated with different symbols, including the symbol of double happiness.

Chinese wedding table decoration

The Chinese wedding table is generally decorated with a red tablecloth and golden decorations, like all the rest of the room where the banquet is located. Chinese couples often opt for ribbons, table centers, bouquets, where dolls representing the married couple.

Chinese wedding flowers

During Chinese wedding ceremonies, flowers are mainly used as table decorations to celebrate their union. We also offer large bouquets of colorful flowers to the young couple, most often roses And red. Often bouquets of elaborate flowers are aligned to form a path to the large reception room. Some brides choose to hold a small bouquet, but generally only keep it for wedding photos.

THE Lily is a very widespread flower in Chinese wedding, because the word "lilies", in Chinese " bǎi hey (百合) is like a Chinese proverb announcing a happy marriage for a hundred years. Chinese tradition also wants these flowers to announce the birth of a boy.

THE orchids are also very popular as wedding ceremonial flowers. They represent the love of a married couple, but also wealth.

Finally, the lotus is also very common during Chinese weddings. A lotus flower with a leaf and a bud traditionally represents a happy union.